The "Me"

"I don't care about me" (Bohner and Grant 554).

In "Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway, Jig, or the girl, tells her American partner that she does not care about herself. She is giving up her baby because the man does not want it and she doesn't want to break up with him. However, she wouldn't "not care" about herself at all if she is willing to go through abortion to cling to this man, to the man she loves. It would mean that she doesn't care about her body, perhaps. It would be more about not caring about the unborn child, because the procedure completely destroys the child's chance of living-of going through life, possibly a wonderful one. In the beginning of the short story, she glances over the bare land and refers to it as white elephants. White elephants have several different interpretation, but one important one is a holy one. Buddha's mother is said to have had a dream of a white elephant going into her body before she had the child in her womb. The girl may be debating her decision because the process of abortion would be committing a sin-a crime against God. Therefore, by saying that she doesn't care about herself, she might be referring to what happens after she dies-possibly going to hell for doing such thing. After she says that she doesn't care about herself, however, she refers to the other side of the railroad as well: the fertile land with fields of grain and trees, river and mountains (Bohner and Grant 554). This section illustrates the beauty of mother nature, possibly her emerging maternal instinct of wanting to give birth to the child and protecting him/her. She may have realized or that this operation was not only about her, or the man, but also about the baby. It could also have been that the "me" included her and her unborn child since they were one body at that point. The American keeps referring to his beliefs or thoughts as "we" or "us." The girl may have wanted to distinguish from the man by saying "me": that she had opinions, thoughts and feelings that were much different from his, and that there was the hidden, unborn child in the "me" which the man doesn't think or talk about at all-that the matter was only about the couple and no one else.